Change Your Reactions, Change Your Life
Quick Fix #2 Instant Buddha
Quick Fix #2 for the Short Attention Span brings big results. Yet it’s so simple, anyone can do it. My dogs can do it. Sometimes.
Set-up. For you to have a reaction, first you must perceive an action—You smash your thumb with a hammer. Or, more likely, a person utters a phrase that clashes with your view of the world. Your partner, relative, or a complete stranger hints that you are not perfect.
Then comes your reaction. Which is—well, that depends. On you. MysteryShrink for the Short Attention Span
How you choose to react will influence what happens next. We’ve always had this power. But we’re a stubborn lot. We want the other person to be different first.
We don’t have that power. (Actually, we do, to some extent. Now there’s a Quick Fix to look forward to.) We only have the power to choose between reacting the way we always do, or reacting differently.
Change is hard and it’s lonely. So how can we possibly accomplish anything that lasts? Same way you eat an elephant. One bite at a time.
So here goes. Bite one of the elephant.
Quick Fix #2
The next time an action stimulates your urge to over-react —the next time ‘that person’ says “_____” to you again— simply say nothing.
An over-reaction is a physical experience. You know when the temptation is to overreact is dangled before you. Focus your eyes on something away from the conversation. Do not announce that you have chosen to say nothing.
Resist and redirect your attention. That’s it.
Notice I said that this fix is simple, not that it is easy. You have the reaction habits you have because to react ‘automatically’ (not really, but we’ll get to that) was easy, or more importantly, reacting in the expected and practiced way has been comfortable. Your reaction supported your need to be right.
The urge to defend against a perceived threat is powerful. (The term ‘perceived threat’ will be explained later.)
We humans are anxious creatures. The more anxious we are, the less able we are able to reflect. Some individuals are experts at provoking the response he or she most wants to play with.
Benefits of Quick Fix #2
- You will discover that everything that goes through your mind does not need to be said. (You can use your steady example of maturity to teach your kids.)
- You will break the chain of relationship predictability. You will now be ‘unpredictable.’ This will make you slightly mysterious.
- The pause will give you time to think or, at least, give the impression you are thinking–which adds your new mysterious persona.
- You will discover that you are not powerless in interactions.
Congratulations ahead of time. You can do this. Because you are mysterious and powerful.
**MysteryShrink for the Short Attention Span is a list of takeaways based on what we know about human behavior. Theory and backup are in other sections of the MysteryShrink site.
