Tag Archives: the New Year

Down with the Downers

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  Okay, the first step of this better living in 2009 is giving up the negativity.  This means, not only avoiding the anxiety-builders on every newscast, not only learning to turn another person’s negative spin into something positive, but cutting our own NEGATIVITY.  ME?  CHANGE?  Are you nuts?

Whoa.  This is hard for me.  Negative comments are the way people in my family show how in-the-know we are.  I have been told by persons close to me that    ”You do know that it’s okay with us if you go through the world without evaluating it?”

What?  You don’t NEED to know what I think of this television show?  That politician?  New Yorkers?  Californians?  Canadians?  What about Paris Hilton?  Do you really want to know?

Do you really need one more person to point out that those FREE male enhancement pills, the free computer instruction discs, the free energy tabs are about the “shipping and handling?”  No, you know that.  My comments add nothing except down energy.  (Hey, I sort of got away with it, but we all have to have outlets.)

I recommend outlets in which no one is actually being damaged.  Which means no one is in position to hear our negativity. 

Which leaves talking back to the television (only when alone) and belligerent dialogues with that insanely saccharine voiced woman telling you how important your call is while you are on terminal hold.  I personally have grave fear that my responses (a kind term) when she says, “I’m sorry, your call is so important–are being recorded.  Let me try to get you the help you need by seeing if any of the following options meet your needs.”

 **See previous entry for BLIND OPTIMISM, federal highway department.

New Year’s Resolutions

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  “The BowFlex has given me more than new strength, it’s given me a new LIFE.  Nutrisystem has given me more than a new body, it’s given me a new LIFE.  This xx allery medication has given me more than clear breath, it’s given me LIFE.”

Oh, if only we could really experience a better life by obtaining something, eating programed food, or taking a pill. 

We can’t.  Think about it.  If it really worked, WOULD EVERY SINGLE, NOT MISSING ONE, ALL so-called women’s magazines HAVE A NEW DIET ON THE COVER EVERY MONTH?

These “articles” and info-mercials are dead ends.  I do admit their allure.  It’s even worse in other countries where their is no attempt to even flash the unreadable disclaimers across the bottom of the screen.  In Mexico you can buy a jar of fat-sucking gel.    This way you can choose the places where you want the fat to come off (One jar per household, please.)  You can order a box of patches (just pay shipping and handling) which you can place on the area you want to reduce “and have the NEWLY DISCOVERED SECRET work through the night.”

Buying something, even temporarily changing your body, does not work. Maybe you get a short spurt of false esteem but that’s it.

There is a way though.  We can work toward CHANGING the way we RESPOND.  We can, with very hard work, CHANGE our AUTOMATIC ways of THINKING to take better care of ourselves. 

Your brain is in your body.  No one else can take care of your FEELINGS.  No one else can change your THOUGHTS.

So, here’s the job for 2009.  I’ve always been intrigued about the phenomenon that when a son or daughter has been absolutely proven to have committed brutal murder, the parents still believe their child is innocent.  The theories for who did the crime are bizarre.  And what about that husband in North Texas who, after his wife was shown to be the only person who could have (and did) stab their two sons to death–still claims his wife as a maligned angel?

I know, weird way to get to the point.  But 2009 is when we work toward having a friend life that in our corner.  Ourselves. 

No, we’re not going to murder anyone.  We’re actually going to be a lot nicer. 

Taking care of you is the kindest thing you can do for those around you.  You can’t be loving when you’re angry at you.  You can’t reach your dreams if you’re not backing yourself with wild commitment.

2009, I’m ready.    ARE YOU?

Feelings and A Confession

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  I’ve been asked to slow down a bit.  Thus–on the subject of FEELINGS. 

You know, those up and down generators and takers-away of energy—those internal operations that mess us up, slow us down, and waste our lives on a regular basis.  Now, I’m not talking about that oozy feeling you get watching a puppy play or the delight at good news.  I’m talking about what happens to your energy when your FEELINGS are hurt, muted, when you’re bored, unmotivated, and anxious.

Think of these feelings as nothing but NOISE.    BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!

NOISE.  Reactions designed to keep us from getting eaten from tigers.  Reactions which have gone out of control and KEEP OUR LIVES LESS than they could be. 

When these feelings are in charge we are OVER-FOCUSED on what OTHER PEOPLE are doing and saying or what we think they are doing, saying, and THINKING.

Noise: “I can’t write a short story or novel because real writers will think I’m ridiculous.  I can’t wear a bathing suit in public until others think I look okay, which will be never, so swimming is out.  I’d like to go back to school, but what if I don’t do well?    What if I start writing a novel and never finish?  What if join a dance club to learn salsa and no one asks me to dance?  What if I join a gym and I’m the only one dressed stupidly and who doesn’t know how to use the machines?  I’d like to learn the guitar, but what if I never do anything but sing to myself?”

So, let’s assume ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE WORLD are not doing, saying, or even thinking about you.  What do you do now?  All those doors just come flipping open.   

Confession: The first time I went to a writers’ conference, I didn’t attend a single session.  I was sure I was the only one there without the talent and skills to write a bestseller.  The best I could do was walk down the hall past where the meeting was being held.  Last year I sold a book .