Eight babies. No papa, no job, no brains at all.  Talk about your EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM running the show.  Talk about ignoring the FACTS. 

There is a morning after. There is a statement coming in the mail.

My first (but not last) run in with the administration when I was editor of my high school paper happened when I was called in (undeservedly) after an editorial searing a mandatory assembly organized and presented by a national credit organization. The theme was “learning how to manage your credit to your advantage.” 

FOLKS:  CREDIT is not  “THING.”  It’s not a thing that you can “manage” like you can house train a dog and your life will go better.  CREDIT is just a way to GET MORE of your MONEY. No one’s trying to help you. . . As you’ve probably guessed.  My editorial read pretty similarly to the previous statements.  

Did I mention we were 17 years old?  I admit, that since I was usually able to talk my way out of assemblies, and yet forced to attend this one . . . I did lean from the outset toward an unfavorable review.

Still.  The assembly was my first face-to-face with organizations recommending the ignoring of facts . . . accompanied, of course, by mandatory shots of incredibly attractive, carefree couples cavorting in beach resorts, bronze men behind the wheels of giant boats, and families moving into two-story houses with lots of neighbors bringing cakes cheering them on. 

Other Helpful Facts:  You cannot lose MORE weight by adding Slim Shots, Hydroxycut, Hydroxycut Plus Formula 9, Hydroxycut Super With crushed moon dust. You cannot save money by borrowing more money.  You are not what you drive. There’s not much difference in shampoos, soaps, and cosmetics. The AbRocket doesn’t work without the handy accompanying “food plan.”

An insurance company sending you a brochure for FREE is not a gift, nor is a mattress company sending you a twenty minute DVD sales pitch a sign of good will.

There comes a time in a man’s life when he’s really not so desperate to ignore the facts of life that he will take a pill which just might result in a four hour erection.  Or result in having to go into an emergency room to explain his painful dilemma.  Which brings us back to the opening statement.  Talk about your EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM running the show.

OKAY.  I have a serious, dark side confession on this whole credit card business.    I’m talking DARK, DARK . . . Involving swimming pools and ocean views, and Mexico.  Later.  Probably, I’ll wait a bit.  Give you a chance to forget my raving on the subject.