Tag Archives: New Year’s Resolutions

What Can Princess Diana Do For You?

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Resolution for 2010:  Start Living Nowprincessdidreamstime_5091638

Resolution for 2010 in two parts:

1)     Live in the Present.

2)     Take RESPONSIBILITY for the quality of the present moment. 

The plan is to report steps… forward and back…hoping others can learn from my frailties.

Inspiration: A non-so-good French movie set in Monaco.  The female lead has her one room apartment decorated wall-to-wall with Princess Diana memorabilia.

The male lead asks, “Why the overwhelming adoration? Did you love Princess Di that much?”

She says: (paraphrasing) “Yes.  Princess Di had it all…and I have nothing. She was beautiful. She was wealthy beyond anything I can even imagine.  She was loved by everyone.  She was famous.  I think she’s the luckiest woman who ever lived.   I loved her so much my life was nothing but a poor immitation. I didn’t know how to be alive as just me.  When Princess Diana was alive, I lived through her. I spent my simple, unfamous life, wishing I was her.”

He asks: “Why do you keep all these pictures?”

She says: “To remind myself I have something Princess Di does not have.  I am alive.  I can plan things.  I can meet new people.” 

He asked: “So?”

She said: “I keep all these pictures and stories to remind myself I am alive. That one day I won’t have the chance to enjoy the day….but unlike Princess Di…I’m not there yet.  That one day when it’s over …is not TODAY.”

Thus, following these words from a bad French movie, my Resolution for 2010 is to live in the present…instead of ruing the past and worrying about the future.  And to make an honest effort, moment by moment, to take responsibility for the quality of my experience.

Want to come along?  Actually, the present being the way it is…None of us have a choice….as long as we are alive…we can change…we can do better…. Let’s have some fun. 

Next:  The Joy of Strawberries.

The Fettucinne, No Brain Connection

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 Okay.    We’ve had lots of examples of the EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM messing life up for us.  So where does the THINKING GUIDANCE SYSTEM come in?

And what does it have to do with fettucine?    Everything!!!

The THINKING GUIDANCE SYSTEM is:

   The part of our brain which can TOLERATE ANXIETY.

   The part of our brain which can GATHER and USE FACTS in decisions.

The part of our brain which can SLOW DOWN and consider, WHEN I TOOK THIS CERTAIN ACTION BEFORE, HOW DID THINGS WORK OUT?

The Fetteccinne Incident, a move made thousands of times a day.  I’m working at a hotel and it’s four in the afternoon.  I haven’t had lunch, so I grab coffee.  This routine (thoughtlessly) is repeated until nine-thirty.  I’m at the bar having a cool glass of wine before calling it a night.  Boy am I starving!  I order fettuccine alfredo to take up to my room.  After all, I haven’t had a meal all day.  The fettuccine was terrific. 

OPTIMISM SIGHTING: That little readout at the bottom of a television ad that suggests you look up their advertisement in some random magazine.

But the heartburn at midnight was awful.  At two, I got up and stumbled down the hall for a Coke hoping that would help.  I didn’t get much sleep at all.  NOTE: I’m not suggesting that “not eating” is good and holy and “eating fettucine or any other lovely food is bad.” Just as many people “don’t eat” under rule of the non-fact-based EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM as people who “eat” on decisions made by the same system.

The point is, the EMOTIONAL SYSTEM doesn’t pay attention to the FACTS.  The EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM ignores past experiences.  You can bet that wasn’t my first lonely midnight heartburn.

The String Bikini Incident

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  Motto for 2009: “You know, I’ve been thinking.  I’ve decided I would look GREAT in a string bikini!”

Yep.  The very thought is beyond ridiculous if I’m talking about what someone else would think.  I’m not sure I could talk a salesperson into letting me try on, much less purchase a string bikini.  I chose the string bikini statement because someone who loves me very much just the way I am said that once spying a string bikini on a store manikin.  He couldn’t have been more wrong.  And I’m not being coy.  I would look ridiculous in a string bikini, then and even more now.  But not according to him.

The only way we’re going to get our lives back is by producing our own feedback channels run by that part of ourselves that’s like that guy who said I’d look great in a string bikini..  You can go to FOX News for the conservative take, NBC for a more liberal take.  And to your own channel for the best take for you.  This is the channel run by that director who is absolutely CRAZY about you. We are not tuning into the channel manned by others.    Alert!!  CRAZY and unwise are not the same.  Remember best thinking over emotionally based decisions is what we’re going for. The reason no comments have been shown on this site is that I haven’t sorted through the thousands and thousands of spams.  I’m trying to catch up now and must say—Buying more exercise machines, male organ size enhancements, and God forbid, those all-in-one girdles–is not the kind of CRAZY that goes into having a better life.  It’s the kind of crazy that keeps everything the same except you have less money.  

The crazy we’re going for is the kind that gets you to submit that short story, write that novel, paint that picture, run that race, because if you’re not crazy confident you’ll talk yourself out of it.  Crazy confidence is not about buying easy-sounding solutions.  It’s about DOING something that changes your life. I know, kind of confusing.  Manana.

WHY IS SOMEONE ELSE’S WAY OF SEEING YOU MORE REAL THAN THE WAY YOU CHOOSE TO SEE YOURSELF? 

It’s not like their opinion is right.  It’s JUST THEIR OPINION.

This year we are going to LAUGH, LAUGH, LAUGH.  And anytime anyone doubts us, most particularly ourselves, we are going to have this sentence pop out of our mouths:  “You know, I’ve been thinking about it and I just realized I would look great in a string bikini.”

And when others scoff, pass out or threaten to have us picked up by the men in the white jackets, we’ll ask, “Which is more important?  The world I can touch?  Or the world to which I AM RESPONDING?”   To which others will say, “You’re crazy.”   And you’ll say, “Great.   It’s working.” 

 **The unbelievable optimism from the federal highway department:  On the endless nothingness of IH 8 between Yuma, Arizona and El Centro, California, along the shoulder are signs saying, “No parking except in case of emergency.”  Now there’s optimism.  Someone’s going to park there for a picnic?

New Year’s Resolutions

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  “The BowFlex has given me more than new strength, it’s given me a new LIFE.  Nutrisystem has given me more than a new body, it’s given me a new LIFE.  This xx allery medication has given me more than clear breath, it’s given me LIFE.”

Oh, if only we could really experience a better life by obtaining something, eating programed food, or taking a pill. 

We can’t.  Think about it.  If it really worked, WOULD EVERY SINGLE, NOT MISSING ONE, ALL so-called women’s magazines HAVE A NEW DIET ON THE COVER EVERY MONTH?

These “articles” and info-mercials are dead ends.  I do admit their allure.  It’s even worse in other countries where their is no attempt to even flash the unreadable disclaimers across the bottom of the screen.  In Mexico you can buy a jar of fat-sucking gel.    This way you can choose the places where you want the fat to come off (One jar per household, please.)  You can order a box of patches (just pay shipping and handling) which you can place on the area you want to reduce “and have the NEWLY DISCOVERED SECRET work through the night.”

Buying something, even temporarily changing your body, does not work. Maybe you get a short spurt of false esteem but that’s it.

There is a way though.  We can work toward CHANGING the way we RESPOND.  We can, with very hard work, CHANGE our AUTOMATIC ways of THINKING to take better care of ourselves. 

Your brain is in your body.  No one else can take care of your FEELINGS.  No one else can change your THOUGHTS.

So, here’s the job for 2009.  I’ve always been intrigued about the phenomenon that when a son or daughter has been absolutely proven to have committed brutal murder, the parents still believe their child is innocent.  The theories for who did the crime are bizarre.  And what about that husband in North Texas who, after his wife was shown to be the only person who could have (and did) stab their two sons to death–still claims his wife as a maligned angel?

I know, weird way to get to the point.  But 2009 is when we work toward having a friend life that in our corner.  Ourselves. 

No, we’re not going to murder anyone.  We’re actually going to be a lot nicer. 

Taking care of you is the kindest thing you can do for those around you.  You can’t be loving when you’re angry at you.  You can’t reach your dreams if you’re not backing yourself with wild commitment.

2009, I’m ready.    ARE YOU?