The good thing about horse shows is that when you’re showing your stuff in the ring, you don’t have to be good all the time.  You only have to be perfect when the judge is watching you. 

I’ve been thinking about how to set reasonable goals on this becoming more functional through taming the EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM.  Which took me to thinking about horse shows and treatment centers.  That’s a match, right?  (Ah, perhaps more of a match than you’d ever believe.)

Because when you’re in the ring atop your expensive steed–no matter how horribly your horse behaves, no matter what kind of deadly mood he’s in, no matter if he’s bucking like crazy the entire way around the ring–you must have an expression on your face showing what an absolutely lovely ride you’re having.  Your horse’s head can be between his knees and his heels over your head, and you gotta be smiling as if you’re having the best time ever!  Your expression is saying that WHAT’S HAPPENING SIMPLY ISN’T HAPPENING. 

In the treatment center we teach a similar skill, FAKE IT ‘TIL YOU MAKE IT.

Thus, what about making a goal, for now, of toning down our EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEMS  when the judge can see us?  When you’re in the ring, it’s okay to twist yourself into a pretzel and pull all kinds of obvious gimics to keep yourself aboard–when the judge is turned the other way.  So, here’s the deal.  We “fake it ’til we make it” and “smile like we are having the finest, comfortable ride” when we’re in public. Or pick one arena and make that your showring.  Home or work.   Or, maybe just with one other person you want to relieve of your easy to erupt anxiety.  (I know one…no two…no…)

Why put on a show?  Why not just “go with your feelings” all the time.  For starters, you will drive other people crazy or away.  More important, you’ll pass up the chance to gain a little management over that inner force. As “real” as emotions “feel” they’re just feelings and not in line with facts. People who are not ruled by their EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYTEMS have better relationships, work experiences, and better lives. 

What’s fun is that by pretending you’ve got it together you get it more together.    

  I haven’t forgotten the Mexico confession. Working up to it.