The Intoxicated Babysitter and the Third Graders at the Renaissance Hotel

Dateline: Chili’s bar, Little League World Series Final. These kids are great fun.

What was your first thought when seeing the two boys in the pool. Was it, where were their parents? Not that the question is a bad one, just not the only one.t was your level of fear seeing pic? Remember herding sheep in other countries. The swimmers do look a bit younger than the third graders in the situation below.

Okay, one more shot at James Arthur Ray, then I’ll let him go. Maybe. The sweat lodge situation is just such a good example of one person saying to others (who ended up dead, by the way, even though they were good “Warrriors”) “Listen to me. Not your own mind. You are safe because I know you and you don’t know yourself. You are safe because I am with you and I am so cool and great, you should trust me with your bodies and your money.” Okay, I paraphrased a little. But you get the message. is the same.

Remember the pledge. No judgments. James Arthur Ray and both mothers came by their responses to anxiety honestly. A child’s anxiety is hard to resist. It’s hard to keep
ourselves calm and communicating confidence once our fears are stimulated, once
we know or think we know danger lurks.

The following situation came about accidentally, but taught one father a lot about his
daughter and himself. This particular weekend Mrs. W was out-of-town and Mr. W
was in charge of his ten, four, and two-year old daughters. The mother of one
of his ten-year-old’s best friends called and asked if she could attend a small
slumber party.

The friend’s aunt, staying at one of the best hotels in town which happened to include
an indoor pool and miniature golf course, had offered to arrange a room next
door for their niece and three of her friends. The niece was excited and happy that her aunt had made such a generous offer. The plan was for the aunt to supervise an afternoon in the pool, then take the girls out to dinner before settling in.

What actually happened: An hour after the girls were in the pool, the aunt got into a huge argument with her husband on the phone. After the battle, the aunt
left the hotel, then returned with a six-pack of Mike’s Lemonade. Afte the swim the now intoxicated aunt retreated to her room and room service alcohol.

The girls went down to the indoor miniature golf and played a couple of hours. Returning to their room, the niece peeked in on her aunt to find her passed out on the bed. The four third greaders were on their own and for some reason, probably the fun
night ahead, no one called parents.

They made a joint decision for everyone to shower and change into the dresses brought for dinner. The four girls escorted themselves to hotel’s fine-dining restaurant signing the check to their room. Afterwards, the evening was spent with television and games as planned. Ice cream sundaes were ordered from room service.

The next morning, the aunt still in bed, the girls enjoyed breakfast in the restaurant then returned to the miniature golf course to wait for parents to pick them up at the
assigned time.

Once the niece’s parents were beyond their anger at the aunt, they could step back and see how well their daughter and the other girls had handled themselves. Would they have allowed her to go if they’d known what was going to happen? Of course not. But instead of raging on about the irresponsibility of the adults, or about the fact that his daughter had not called him the night before, they were able to appreciate how the girls had managed a tough situation quite well–and without anyone having to instruct them along the way.

Hang on, no one’s saying leave your third grader with a drunk relative in a hotel. Ten-year-olds do herd sheep and tend to the store in other cultures. (When a young person tells me he or she just can’t do a chore, I tell them about the young herders. Straightens them out in a hurry, since they do not want to end up with more responsibility.)

Next: Relationship
Dependence, the “Woman Who Used Two Potato Peelers at Once.”