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The Too Nice Lady Incident

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Apparently, American Airlines has sent fit to punish me for complaining.  I knew complaining makes things worse….but really.  And, yet, I’m holding off the second official section of the out-of-control ‘Texan Whose Complaining Disturbed a Small Oklahoma Town’  until next time.  I mean, I am going to mention that in route from Austin, Texas to Ft. Walton Beach, Florida….I spent….an extra hour in the departure lounge in Austin (that’s plus 1)…an hour and ten minutes landed, but in line to get a gate, at DFW (that’s plus 1.10)…an extra hour and a half in the departure lounge at DFW (that’s plus 1.30)…three hours in line on the DFW tarmac waiting for departure (that’s plus 3.0), landing in Florida…After spending 6 hours and 40 minutes waiting. 

I spent an extra 2 hours and 30 minutes waiting in departure lounges…

I spent an extra 4 hours and 10 minutes, waiting on tarmacs…

And IN THE AIR?  2 hours and 6 minutes.  And, that’s not the really sweet statistic.  Arrival in Florida?  8:30 pm.  Arrival of luggage?  2:18 am.

My details indicate how complaining makes things worse.  But, this entry is about the lady in front of me in line at around 9 p.m….the line to describe your missing bag to the agent who doesn’t even bother to fake optimism.  I’m fuming, right?  Just burning the lining in my stomach.  Rehearsing how this is HORRIBLE, UNFAIR, RIDICULOUS…and I CANT STAND IT…

…When the woman just floors me.  She steps up to the agent whose mostly hiding behind the counter given the glares coming from Emotionally unmanaged weinnies like me.

She smiles and says to the cowering agent,  “What can I give you that would be the most helpful?”

I’ve had training!  I do workshops!  Where does she get off being so much more mature than I could even pretend to be at that moment?

698

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There you tripping through life in your little familiar zone….When someone tears into your bubble insisting on sharing their opinion on what you are doing wrong?

cowdreamstime_10666420What does it mean when someone is described as ‘opinionated’?

Does it mean he or  she has clear ideas about where he or she stands? 

Does ‘opinininated’ mean a person has a set of evolved values on which to base decisions?

Or, does ‘opinionated’ mean…. when confronted by people making choices unlike your own….you become anxious….and just have to correct this wayward other?

Well, hang on.  Whatever lousy, butt-in-ski thing you’ve done or said when someone didn’t agree with how you thought (felt) something should be handled….your efforts are mere ripples compared to the lady who disagreed with the T-ball coach.

A couple of years ago, at a Little League game in a nearby town, an opinionated mother loudly and frequently complained about the coaching.  She particularly complained that the coach did not play her son as often as she believed he should be played.  The coach did not let the mother’s public complaining alter his game plan.

Of course, she wasn’t complaining…only pointing out what was fair and what the coach was doing wrong.

This lady complained and complained, and when the coach didn’t change, she informed him that he’d regret not listening to her advice…. He’d regret how bull-headed he was being….Well, for some, words are just not enough. 

Disappointed  Baseball Mom returned home….and….Okay…hang on…The woman      beat herself up.  Yep.  She beat herself up, seriously…bruises and cuts aplenty.  Then she convinced her husband to take her to the hospital emergency room where she reported that the coach had come to her home, attacked her, and caused the injuries.

The coach was arrested and taken to jail.  With a woman stumbling into the hospital with multiple, serious injuries, the police and the community were not kind to the accused man.  Disappointed Baseball Mom was a convincing victim…Just the sort cameras love.  The coach is suspended, his job was in jeopardy.  He put out  bucks for a lawyer.  His days and weeks were a mess. 

Gradually, the truth came to light, or at least the story developed two sides.  Amazingly, the case actually went to trial.  Plenty of witnesses showed up clearing up what had actually had occured.  As you might imagine, character witnesses were plentiful for the coach and thin for the Lady Who Beat Herself Up.  Even the husband grew a spine.  Still, the angry lady refused to drop the assault charges. 

Her point, she said, was to make the coach miserable which could best be accomplished if she forced a trial…Even knowing she would lose, she’d have satisfaction…

And you thought you were pushy about complaining until you got your way.  Ha.

Complaining on Hold…

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Complaining Side-tracked.

Dateline: Chicago, Hilton World Headquarters Branch.

Here’s what happened.  My computer died.  It even made a sound.  What I want to know is why?

Because things like this…inconveniences…shouldn’t happen to me.  Especially shouldn’t happen to me when I’m leaving for a trip.  After only 200,000 hours on this Japanese jewel of perfection…it just quits.  What am I supposed to do now?  Life today is too hard.  Kids today….

Oh, sure, I could come down here to the business center to use a computer, but that is awfully inconvenient.  I shouldn’t have to leave my room.  I shouldn’t have to wait for the slow hot water in this hotel, a sore point I wouldn’t mention if the maid hadn’t tucked the sheets in so tightly I pulled a shoulder muscle and need to soak.  Now that I think back, I think I bought the wrong computer to start with.  Not my fault, the sales guy when I bought the computer just couldn’t shut up about Toshiba was the laptop to buy.  Why did he take advantage of me?  I shouldn’t have bought Japanese.  There’s a Japanese fast food place back home and their food is undercooked and their spices are awful.  Japanese food tastes bad. What kind of idiot eats Japanese food?  

Sure.  I’ll get another computer, brand new, all shiny and super-fast. But that’s just one more disaster in the making.  Now I have to reload my files…what a mess…and a new operating system.  Learning a new system so soon after the Vista debacle is ridiculous.  I shouldn’t have to change….anything ever.

Part 2 of  How to Annoy Absolutely Everyone diverting anxietty into negativity and complaining…. will return when these uncomfortable, inconvenient, and completely ridiculous events stop ruining my day.

Say what?   Me?   Oh, no, I’m not complaining…I’m….

I Came…I Saw…I Complained…and complained…and complained.

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This is to kickoff a series on habitual ways of dealing with stress that drive people away from you.  Going negative is one of our favorites was to attempt to deal with anxiety.  The first is the art of being negative…. Remember those two guidance systems (See previous on anxiety.)

The goal of your Emotional Guidance System is to get rid of pesky anxiety.  Complaining, or seeing the downside, is very popular with Emotional Guidance Systems…

And, we come by the art of negativity naturally.  Remember, we’re not about talking pathology here….We’re talking about behavior and thoughts we all have.  Though…diagnosing everyone…seeing all their problems…that would be a major way a person could calm herself down.  Hey, maybe there’s a profession in pointing out other people’s problems…Oops.