What Steroid Side Effects?

crazy ladyWhat Steroid Side Effects?

My brother had two giant steroid injections today without the recommended anesthesia. He says his pain is better but he might be experiencing side effects from the steroids. As a regular steroid victim, I set him straight, did my good psychologist thing, and calmed him down. As many of us have the chronic pain issue, I was thinking I could help dispose of any fears about steroid side effects from the effects on my own life.  Which are nil, of course.

Dear Bro,

Steroids don’t cause any emotional symptoms. What inane, ridiculous, lame-brained, idiot told you there could be emotional symptoms? Who? Who? I want names. I want names now. Why are you punishing me by taking ten seconds to answer my question . . . okay, missed your chance, buddy. . . you blew it, so just get out of my way and put away your stupid smart phone and ‘no’ I don’t need any of your ‘help’–you’re the one who needs help! You and everyone like you who thinks they know everything about everything and I’ve had it up to here. (Horizontal hand neck high.) … And now that you mention it, I did mean to knock that book off the table so, buddy, you just get our mitts off of it and back up. Now! …No, I’m not having a stroke. What is your stupid problem that you think I have a problem? My face is always red like this, you just don’t pay attention. …And yes, I did mean  to turn over that glass of water. So, one more time, dear, back . . . it . . . up.

No, I’m not hungry…are we ever going to eat? Is this food it? I want anything and everything to eat…now… No, I’m not coming to the table because I’m not hungry, what makes you think I’m hungry?? Yes, I was hungry ten minutes ago, that’s why I at those seven sticks of gum. Now I’m not hungry…no wait, I’m starving…why does no one care that I’m starving? Why? Everyone else in the world has food, really good food, because they have people who care about them and because the drive-through at their Chicken and Waffles always gets their order right while here in Austin there are 15–as in 1-5– Chicken and Waffles places and not one of them gives a flip about job quality, much less customer satisfaction. Not one.

And don’t tell me I’m only saying that because I’m tired, because I’m not tired. I’m going to bed. No I’m not . . . I’m going to re-roof the house and maybe write an opera or at least a few poems while I’m that near the stars. Now…honey… what are you doing? I need that ladder . . . Okay, maybe I do need to eat.

Okay, so maybe steroid use could bring on a bit of irritability. I mean for some people.

 

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mysteryshrink

I'm a psychologist who goes to way too many movies, for the same reason I chose this profession. I love stories. I use movies and novels working with people in my office and during speaking engagements. "You should write some of this down," I kept being told. So, this is it, folks.

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