Birth Position Tendencies**
This is a repeat of What Does Sibling Position Have to Do with Love and Friendship? . . . This time with identification tags for sibling positions.
Before reading this entry please read: Me? Do Thanksgiving? You Have to be Crazy! and What Does Sibling Position Have to Do with Love and Friendship?–Spoiler Alert and The Bowen Center on Sibling Position and What Does Sibling Position Have to Do with Love and Friendship?
How much does birth order matter once you leave home? Once you’ve made a new family? How much does birth order affect how well you did in school? How much does your birth order matter in your choice of career and how successful you’ve been?
Your birth order position matters a lot. In fact, if you have a monthly padded nest egg in the bank or a stack of scary bills on the counter–could be related to your birth position. If you’re the one with the stack of bills–call your older sibling and tell them to come clean up the situation.
The following sibling position descriptions were developed through the research of Walter Toman. Family Constellation (2nd Edition), by Walter Toman, New York: Springer, 1969.
For MysteryShrink fun purposes the following descriptions are provided without the sibling position being identified. The idea is for you to read through the descriptions and see which one seems to best describe your functioning. And bother your friends and family by giving them this test.
In a few hours I will re-post the descriptions with the identifying labels. If this isn’t clear see What Does Sibling Position Have to Do with Love and Friendship?–Spoiler Alert.
Note well that numerous other variables can alter the expected birth position characteristics. Anytime we try to sum up another person with a single label, we’re missing the ballgame. Later entries will speak to these important variables.
**Older Sister of a Sister (OSS)- Responsible and competent. Wants credit for accomplishments. Pretends to be sure even when not. Tends to be proud. Has high expectations of others and self to work hard. Has a tendency to want to be in charge. In relationships with the opposite sex is not a flirt and does not tease. Men must declare themselves humbly which relaxes her. Best spouse would be either a YBS (Younger Brother of a Sister), YBB (Younger brother of a Brother), or an only child. Her most difficult loss would be the death of her father.
**Younger Sister of a Sister (YSS)-
Can take care of men. Independent and strong in inconspicuous ways. Tend to be tactful. Is strict, but kind. Regulates situations gracefully and gently. A good sport. Can be patronizing, but tends to be reasonable and friendly. In relationships with the opposite sex can keep men happy while staying in the one-up position. Yet her spouse can rely on her and she won’t compete with him. If she has many younger brothers, she can have some difficulty settling for one man. Best spouse would be either a YBS (Younger Brother of a Sister), YBB (Younger Brother of a Brother), a middle child, or an only child. Her most difficult loss would be the death of her mother.
**Older Sister of a Brother (OSB)- Adventurous and colorful. Wants entertainment and change. Charming, capricious, and full of surprises. Able to seduce men easily by submission but still will tend to be willful and capricious. Sometimes moody and ambivalent. A femme fatale. Usually would rather be seduced than to do the seducing and part of her would like to give up her “nonsense.” Best spouses would be OBS (Older Brother of a Sister ) or OBB (Older Brother of a Brother). Her most difficult loss would be the death of her father.
**Younger Sister of a Brother (YSB)- Feminine. Friendly and occasionally selfish. May be a victim of her feelings and instincts. Attracts men best. Tends to be cute and not a femme fatale. Wants to serve her spouse but does not want a spouse who needs her. Is loyal and makes an ideal employee. Tends to love a lot and deeply and so death throws her. She needs consolation from others. Best spouse match would be either an OBS (Older Brother of a Sister) or an OBB (Older Brother of a Brother). Most difficult loss would be either the death of her father or her favorite brother.
** Older Brother of a Brother (OBB) -Leader of people by force or cunning. Is second most daring of the males. A good worker especially with leadership roles. Wants credit for his efforts. Takes on hardships readily. Inspires others. Keeps his environment in order; that is, he is usually tidy. Has some problems with other OBBs (Older Brothers of Brothers). Dislikes relationships where he feels dependent. Friendships are often a strong supplement to his marriage. Takes a very masculine position with women and believes they should take care of him. Can get annoyed with his wife if she is not like his mother. Best spouse choice would be YSB (Younger Sister of a Brother). His most difficult loss would be the death of his father.
**Older Brother of a Sister (OBS)- Will undergo hardships to get the woman he wants. With other men is not usually “one of the boys.” He is a ladies friend in that he will be interested in the person of the woman. However, women need to be somewhat subordinate and patient. He will accept many modes of attractiveness in his wife and will value her as a person. The more younger sisters he has the less easy it is to settle for one spouse. Best spouse choice would be YSB (Younger Sister of Brother). His more difficult loss would be the death of his mother.
** Younger Brother of a Brother (YBB) –Capricious, willful, daring, and antagonizing to elders. Needs others in order to react to them. Liberates self and then rushes back into relationships. Depends on opportunities. Wants to be understood. Male friends are very important and worth sacrificing a female for. Best friendships are with OBB (Older Brother of a Brother). Soft with women, a gentleman. Often shy, awkward, and innocent. He is a “secret boss” in relationship to his wife. The more brothers he has the harder it is to commit to one woman. Best spouse would be OSB (Older Sister of a Brother). His most difficult loss would be the death of his mother. The loss of his older brother can be a confusing time for him.
**Younger Brother of a Sister (YBS)- He usually a woman’s man (or a girl’s boy) and tends to take their attention and doing for him for granted. Evokes maternal instincts. Is less reactive and competitive than the YBB. Stumbles along in life gaily. Not regular or systematic but can keep busy forever. Does not like deadlines. He values following his own inclinations. Best spouse would be OSB or OSS. His wife must be kind, soft, and willing to overlook a lot. The more older sisters, the more difficult it is to commit to one woman. His most difficult loss would be the death of his mother—next hardest would be the loss of his favorite sister.
MALE OR FEMALE BIRTH ORDER CATEGORY
**Only Children– Often has a struggle in relating to peers. Are used to positive feedback and often limits either have not been set for them on any regular basis or those limits were overly strict. Their greatest asset is self and parents. They tend to identify with the sibling position of their same sex parent. Tend to choose same sex singletons as friends.