Okay, now you’ve been exposed to the heavy-duty complaining of the well-trained and highly experienced psychologist gone nuts in the Lawton, Oklahoma, Value Inn.

The infectiousness and just plain annoying elements of blatant complaining are obvious. Less obvious changes happen when someone more subtly speaks negatively about the less than Disney blue-bird-tweeting perfect elements in our Universe. 

Of course, as always, subjectivity rules. The feature being complained about only need be unpleasant to the beholder. 

However, the beholder of the negative comment can pass along discomfort.  When someone else complains, we are more likely to notice unpleasant features we likely wouldn’t have noticed at all.

How this works to eat away at relationships…is a wonder. Stay tuned for the “’Didn’t You Say She Has a Self Esteem Problem?’ Incident.”

The Very Particular Tea Lady Incident:

The NCIS Los Angeles (television show) team has a tiny, but formidable female leader, Hetty Lange.  Hetty is an educated tea drinker. When she wants to confer with one of her staff, she often asks them to join in a cup.  On one episode she invites in one of the men in and he arrives prepared with several fresh tea bags of Hetty’s favorite blend. Hetty says “Thanks, but no thanks,” and prepares the tea using leaves and a strainer bowl.

“You can taste the paper,” says Hetty, with slight distaste explaining her behavior.

“Oh,” says the staffer, “I hadn’t noticed.”

Toward the end of the program the same staff member arrives for a meeting, this time with loose tea.

Hetty smiles.  The staffer shrugs and admits, “You can taste the paper.”

Now here’s the thing.  He didn’t taste the paper before.