Decisions. I’m doing several posts on decisions. For starters, it helps in making decisions to know to how our Thinking Guidance System and our Emotional Guidance System are sharing in the duties.
Cut to Brett Farve. Brett Farve didn’t do anything the rest of us haven’t. So why am I having such a tough time getting past that retirement speech? For those of you who still watch the regular news…Brett Farve is that quaterback for the Minnesota Vikings who turned 40 this weekend. Before quarterbacking for the Vikings he was the many-times-over award winning quarterback for the Green Bay Packers. In between was a one year run with the NY Jets.
Brett Farve who still looks good in Wranglers and he’s the football player…none of non-Wisconsin people knew all that well…until that speech.
What did Brett say? Here’s an excerpt:
“I’ve given everything I possibly can give to this organization, to the game of football, and I don’t think I’ve got anything left to give, and that’s it. I know I can play, but I don’t think I want to. And that’s really what it comes down to. Fishing for different answers and what ifs and will he come back and things like that, what matters is it’s been a great career for me, and it’s over. As hard as that is for me to say, it’s over.”
No big deal,a man retires from a sport and the world pays way too much attention (according to people who still watch the regular news). But Brett didn’t just retire…he took a bunch of us immature….see it and fuse with it people…down with him. Brett cried. To quote a president whose Emotional Guidance System driven decision in the Oval office is the one act most remembered by the general public….I felt Brett’s pain.
I lamented his decision, I was awed by his courage, I re-thought my hard-line refusal to consider moving to Milwaukee with that first great offer with the University of Wisconsin when I was first out of graduate school…
I’m not proud of this…Since people whose level of functioning has some gaps (all of us) are more likely to lose their boundaries and take on the other person’s feelings as if the feelings are their own…and therefore get stuck twisting ourselves into pretzels trying to fix THEIR feelings. We are driven to fix them, to fix ourselve.
Okay, back to Brett…and the sad truth about taking on other people’s feelings. You see, I believed Brett. I invested in what he was saying.
…And…Brett came back the next year to play with the Jets….and the next year with the Vikings…So, Brett, what am supposed to do with my feelings?
When we take on other person’s feelings, we get over-invested in the future choices that person makes…as if he or she owes us.
As for Brett, in reading his bio, I see that he married his girlfriend after 12 years of courtship. And the world was surprised when he reversed his retirement?
