How can you ruin everything…before anything thing even happens?  What are the thoughts you use to prepare yourself for the day?

Dateline:  Jim’s Restaurant Local International World Headquarters

Event:  More shameless eavesdropping.  Remember the E-Harmony Lady…(See April 1…”Guts, the e-Harmony Lady”)…

E Harmony Lady is amazing because instead of allowing her Emotional Guidance System to clog up the highways of her life…even though her figure doesn’t fit the American ideal…she puts herself out there, day after day.  Had her Emotional Guidance System been in charge…terrifying her with images of what terrible things ‘could’ happen… slide shows of potential humiliations…no way she’d keep trying.  But e-Harmony lady listened to her Thinking Guidance System telling her just the facts:  “If you don’t put yourself out there and meet people, you have no chance of making a match or finding a new friend.” and “Nothing really horrible can happen.  You can always walk away. It’s not a disaster unless you decide to make it one.”

Now the other side of the human guidance network.  Today, e-Harmony lady isn’t in her booth behind me.  Instead two ladies between 40 and 50, one in a yellow polo shirt and the other in a denim jacket, are sharing lunch. 

Yellow Polo Shirt says:  “It’s June….I guess you know what that means.”

Demim Jacket:  “Your anniversary’s coming up?”

Yellow Polo Shirt:  “Our 31st, in two weeks.  And I can tell already he’s not going to do anything special.  He remembers, and he’s already avoiding me.”

DJ:  “He hasn’t said anything?”

YPS:  “Of course not.  If he did, then he’d know I’m noticing, which he does already, and he’s ignoring me.  Thirty-one years and he treats our marriage like it was nothing.”

DJ:  “That’s how men are.  No deep feelings.  Sometimes I think Ben is sorry he’s married.  He treats his dogs better than he treats me.”

YPS:  “I just know he’s going to act all surprised on the day of our anniversary.  The way he’s snaking around now…”

Alternate Strategy:  Take a stack of copy paper.  On each page write variations of:  “If you forget our anniversary [date], I shall be forced to sing “Delta Dawn” in the shower everyday for a year….I love you.”  Tape up notices all over the house. 

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She leads with her Thinking Guidance System, making “If you don’t try, it will never happen–” which is a fact … while all the Emotional Guidance System is hawking fears and untruths.

Do you know what today is?    anniversary is coming.  i can tell he doesn’t remember….