I did something right.  As you recall from the Night of the Living Fetticine  (See “The Fetticine Incident”), as a basic start on this idea of working toward a life not quite a hundred percent driven by our EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEMS,  I’m starting small.  In this case with something as simple as deciding on what to eat late at night based on something more than the part of my brain screaming, “I WANT WHAT I WANT NOW  and I do not care about later.” 

Why?  Because there is a later.  I mean, unless that screaming I WANT, I WANT, I WANT voice gets me so excited and in a hurry that I choke on an over-robust forkful of that feckless pasta. . . I guess . . . in that case, I’m off the hook on this whole emotional maturity business.

However, assuming I survive my midnight meal, I will have to deal with the “after”, as I did (pitifully with the fetticine) and as I did last night when . . . but, yes, I managed a small victory.

And here’s how I did it.  Honest.  I actually applied something I taught in my classes on Natural Systems Therapy.  

Scene:  It’s midnight and, since I place the importance of meal planning right up there with catching up on my political reading, I am, of course, starving.  I’d picked up some yogurt, blueberries, and nutty granola thinking that would go well, but now I FEEL too hungry for something so simple and something that requires scooping the yogurt from a jar, and taking out and opening and closing two or three other containers–sheesh.  What a lot of trouble. Another option is a leftover kung pao yaki soba shrimp bowl, which is sounding pretty tasty and more satisfying.  Also, all the yaki soba required was one minute in the micro, then I could eat it right out of the bowl.

BUT THEN!    Memories of billowing fetticine whirl in my head.  I decide to take action.

I sat down with a paper napkin and wrote on the left hand side:  Choice of the EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM.  On the right I wrote: Choice of the THINKING GUIDANCE SYSTEM.

Below these I wrote.  What kind of night, all night, do I want to have?    What kind of person do I want to be an hour from now?  In the morning? 

Then I just sat with it for a minute, chatting it over with the Crazy Dog.  Then, I made a LOGICAL, FACT-BASED deal with myself.  I’d fix that nice bowl of yogurt, even though the effort looked like making Thanksgiving dinner.)  If, I was still starving after that, I’d return to my paper napkin exercise with all my options open.

I did it and I survived.  This was like the kids I taught to jump, taking a chance, challenging their fears, jumping over a pole on the ground.  Okay, a bowl of yogurt and fruit is a small step.  But the night didn’t have to go that way.