Usually, when someone first comes into my office, what they’re wanting to know is:  “How can I keep doing what I’m already doing, and get a DIFFERENT RESULT? 

   People are fairly predictable, so why aren’t we using that to improve our lives?  We are each one predictable in how we manage anxiety.  Do you try to take control?  Try to get the other to change?  Do you withdraw?    Sink in defeat?  Have a cheesecake?  Gossip?

Oh, all these options are grim.  And we’ve CHOSEN to create a world for ourselves that is lovely and joyful.    We have decided to be like our grandfather who died with a great big smile on his face instead of meeting death screaming and crying like the other passengers in his car.