But, what about MY feelings?  Most people think the point of seeing a psychologist is to “get in touch” with your “feelings.”  And, since friends and family are personally invested in the same situations we are, their anxiety often gets in the way of their being able to listen calmly to our emotional reactions.    (I know, I know.  This selfishness on their part is off-putting, but what can I say?)

  For a therapy situation to be of lasting value, the THINKING SYSTEM has to enter into the process.  Eventually, no need to rush.  Emotions aren’t bad or good, they just “are.”       Sometimes the only way to get to an wider view, a more factual view of a situation, is to splatter emotions all over the place with someone who isn’t too anxious or involved to let you.

    “Which is more important?  The world you can touch?  Or the world you are responding to?”

    If all a person needs is to “vent” (not shown to have lasting value), the better (and cheaper) listeners can be found at the club or the bus station.     When therapists function in the same ways, we end up worse for our efforts since now we place an exaggerated value on our subjective view of people and the world.    This guy is saying, “I told my therapist about you and she helped me get in touch with my feelings.  The only thing I know for sure is–you need to change so I don’t feel that way anymore.”