But, I need help now!

      You have an idea now what it means to base your actions more on your BEST THINKING and less on EMOTIONAL PRESSURE from others or EMOTIONAL PRESSURE from within yourself.

     Still . . . how?  I need specifics, doc.    

     First step is to breathe.  Leave a space between what the other person says and your response.  Heck, let that other person say something, then you breathe, wait ten seconds, and THEN respond.  If you’re my “other person,” you’ll look stunned and clear your ears, thinking, surely, I’d jumped right in that tiny little space with my defensive remark and he’d missed it.

     Another advantage of slowing down.  You can think better when you’re not rushing your response.  Or, at least you can leave the impression you are thinking.  That’s pretty cool.     I’ll settle for that.